he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
