You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
