Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Houston, we have a squirter
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
