i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
