the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
