That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
