i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
