The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
