Having a random hookup so left but love u
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
