RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
