you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i think i have herpe
just one?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
