i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
