Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
