what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
