it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
