and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize