have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
