piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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