I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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