Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
