If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
