just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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