He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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