Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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