i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
