his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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