i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
