If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
