Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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