Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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