Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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