Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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