Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
