What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
