I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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