walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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