DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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