I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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