Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
