maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
