normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
