We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
