what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
