normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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