I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
