Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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