i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
