we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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