apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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