Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
