Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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