margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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