dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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