why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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